Midnight Stories

nakedballad @ 2008-03-15T16:40:00

2008-03-15T08:41:49Z

Something's missing.

2007-09-29T20:02:10Z

Her tears imitate the rain
Flowing unpredictably.
Like a mirror,
The bleak sky reflects her soul.

Find beauty in her sadness.

Through her eyes
As if looking through a window
One can see hope
As gray as the rain clouds.

The sun isn't coming out.

More to Life. Or i go suicide.

2007-09-23T16:58:52Z

More To Life
Stacie Orrico

I've got it all
But I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go

There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure
There's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment
I'm halfway out the door
Onto the next thing,
I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure
There's gotta be more

I'm wanting more

Just waiting on something other than this
Why am I feeling like there's something i missed

There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure

There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure
There's gotta be more to life

Dare no tame ni ikite iru no?

2007-07-28T19:03:12Z

"Good-bye Days", by YUI.

from the movie, Taiyou no Uta ("Midnight Sun", "Song to the Sun")

*tear*

God, i haven't cried like this since If Only, or Fly me to Polaris, or Cardcaptor Sakura Movie 2, or the episode where L died in Death Note, or, uhm that night.

I can't breathe. Ang gandaaaaaa. :)

Taiyou no Uta is about Amane Kaoru (portrayed by YUI), a sixteen year old girl with a rare illness. Basically, she can't be exposed to sunlight for too long, or she'll die. She sleeps during the day and at night, comes out and sings. From her bedroom window, she watches Fujishiro Kouji (portrayed by Takashi Tsukamoto), a local highschool student as he lives his life. She watches him from afar, until one fateful night she gets the opportunity to introduce herself to him. (probably the funniest scene in the movie.) Things escalate as Kaoru and Kouji become closer, but Kaoru's condition becomes worse.

The movie's plot is very basic, and similar to A Walk to Remember. There aren't many things going on, it's very simple. Sometimes cliche', but it's so beautiful. It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry! Hahahah. but really, it's a beautiful tragedy. Just listening to YUI's songs makes me cry. (And have 15 of her songs.)

This movie was made for me. I was meant to watch it. I swear.

I mean, the mere fact na nocturnal si Kaoru diba. Dun palang.

Tas ang hot lang ni Kouji eh. Hahahah.

Pero yun nga, nakarelate ako dun sa movie. Ang galing.

Story, setting, characters, script, lahat na.

Every line, phrase, word, song, tear, smile, kiss. Na-feel ko. Grabe.

Ang ganda talaga. :)

Basta, WATCH IT. Highly recommended, lalo na sa mga hopeless romantic jan. Or mga meh gustong umiyak. Seriously, parang buong movie umiiyak ata ako. hahahah.

Kung ayaw niyo maiyak, read the story sa Wikipedia. Parang yun nadin, pero without the aesthetic value of course. hahahah. :)

YUI, btw, is my favorite Japanese artist. I've been a fan since i first saw her debut singe (Feel My Soul) sa Animax about a year ago. Her voice is AMAZING. Nakakakilabot. And she's really cute. YUI is love! Napapantayan niya ang love ko for Avril. And that's saying something. Hahahah. Her music is simlar to Avril Lavigne/Michelle Branch. Kaya it's really no surprise why i love her. :)

~title taken from "It's Happy Line", still by YUI. :)

:')

Chopsuey!

2007-07-15T09:22:38Z

as the title reads. a little bit of everything. don't expect to understand though. wee. :)

title inspired by one of Nikko's cd's, aptly named Red Ranger Chopsuey. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"To whom it may concern.
I don't want to lose you, especially now that you're not yet mine."

~Toi Luna

Gotten from my bestfriend, who got it from, uhm, Toi Luna.
But it ain't accurate, i can only remember it as much as my memory allows me to, and that's not saying much.

The quote's... nice. Hahahah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"when you walk away, i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now?"

When You're Gone. If you haven't seen the video, you're a loser. hahah. kidding. if you haven't seen the video, prepare for Avril prancing around meadows in flowy fairy dresses.

And you thought Girlfriend was shocking. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there's this girl that i talk to in the mirror. i turn to her when nobody's around, or when nobody can understand what i want to talk about. she's smart, she's outgoing, she's funny and witty, she's confident and self-assured.

she's got a name now. and an existence to boot.

Parker.

yeah, i just found out that i've got an alter ego. or maybe i'm schizophrenic. or maybe i'm like nikki from Heroes. anyway. watch for Parker. you'll like her better.

she's got the vibe that'll turn your tide.

hahahahahahahahahahah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Can I Do - The Corrs. Really a beautiful song, ain't it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

your secure hands
your rigid beliefs
your complicated thoughts
your enduring smile
your steady heart.

i admire them. and when i see them and i see you, i grow sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

find me, please find me.

don't slip away.

i'm never, never far. i'm here. just here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

why is it always that during this time (about past midnight up until 4am) i always get "in touch" with my emotions, that i find myself "reacting" to certain stimulants (like songs, pictures, memories) like chemicals that react and combust and stuff. like some sort of armor or cloak was removed from me, always during this time, leaving me vulnerable to attacks.

and, why is it that things you want to happen never do, but everything else does.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want to see right through you. just SEE RIGHT THROUGH.

so i can sear this, this, THIS right to your soul.

just as you did with mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you don't know me
you don't even care.
you don't know me
you don't wear my chains.

~ Boston, Augustana

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wonder. when am i going to remove my masks, stop hiding and finally pluck up the courage to say the things i really want to say, do the things i really want to do and finally be the person i want to be?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I have read you, and i will watch you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's fun to dig up and read old messages from my inbox. all 926 of 'em. wee.

gotta clean up. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."

~Charlie Brown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five sentences. I'm actually feeling a bit literary. :)

2007-07-08T17:25:20Z

this is one of those moments when i go all emo and shit and put on slow music and stop to think about my life and my relationships and my soul and everything else that i try to ignore while i cope with everything that the world deems "important."

this is one of those moments when i don't like myself, because during these moments i rip myself apart and try to examine whatever there is to examine so i can make myself all better and then i find out that i'm one damn good pretender.

this is one of those moments when i don't give a damn about everything around me because i'm trying to isolate that one single thing that i should be giving a damn about so that everything can change and become meaningful and beautiful, and then i fail to find it and my life goes on and i continue my normal existence.

this is one of those moments when i know that too much caffeine has taken over my brain and i'm writing down these thoughts that don't and won't matter to me when i wake up in the morning, and yet i still write them down because i hope with all my heart that what i'm doing and where i'm going and what's happening during these damn moments will make sense someday.

wow. i been recently updating, my journal's suddenly alive! wee. :)

~~~

add: i need to get back to Fiona. i hear planners help put direction in life and shit. hahah. :)

hmm. :)

2007-07-07T13:51:24Z

dahil sa isang blog entry ng friend ko, magpopost din dapat ako. kaso,i didn't have the words for it.

never did, still don't, and probably won't.

no, not anytime soon. :)

kaya, wag nalang. hahah.

yun lang. gusto ko lang sabihin. :)

nothing's really changed. i'm still as afraid as ever.

tsk tsk. oh well. there's academics, broadcasts, and other people's problems to keep my mind off of it anyway.

:)

Had to update some time:)

2007-06-15T20:24:05Z

and so i update. hahah.

i honestly have nothing to say. but my fingers are itching to type something.

actually, i do have tons to say, but for the most part i've forgotten them already.

see there've been many update-worthy events since i last wrote here but i've just been too busy.

who the hell am i kidding, i was too lazy to update anything, even my multiply account. so, uh, yeah. :)

summer's just about over for me (it's been over for a week for other people, but lucky us, June18 pa pasok namin.)
hahah. i say that like June18 was so far from now. i'm a day shy from starting classes again. yeesh.

my summer vacation can be summarized in two very simple words. SLACK and OFF. yeah. that's summer for me baby.

my sleeping habits (or lack thereof) have, uh, awoken my nocturnal nature. i sleep normally at 4am, then wake up somewhere between 11am and 4pm. i've gained a few lb's over the course of my two glorious hakuna matata months (i'm surely over a hundred pounds now) but i'm really hopeful i'll burn it all off during the schoolyear. i'll be taking up modern jazz in PE class this sem, i have major subjects and i have tons of activities to worry about now so i guess i'll have enough worries to make me thin again. yeyy. goodluck wit my sleep though, i have 8am classes.

i've missed the Jocks. it was good that i had a few days wit them over the past two weeks. just a little while ago i's browsing through some of our photos (special mention to Cayo and Migy whose Multiply accounts house all our vanities) and i'm just really looking forward to spending the sem wit them, this time as a Jock. (God, i can't believe i just said that. a Jock. that's like, shit. pressure. hahah. let's watch me humiliate myself,)

more pichurs, more pichurs. and wit our advertisement program we'll be even more vain than ever. this time we'll have the whole campus as our audience. i still can't believe we'll be having posters of our faces all over capmus. (i had to highlight that.) hahah. poor people, they won't even know what hit 'em.

i'm goin back to LB on Sunday. hay sadness. i really really don't want to go back to LB pa. but i have to. hmmf. i guess the people i'll be seeing'll be my best motivation. it's sad that some of the people i spent the freshman year with won't be spending the rest of college with me anymore though. Most of them transferred to UPD, and a few to other universities. oh well. where your happiness lies, i'm with. Enjoy UST for me, would you Bea? :)

as for the others that stayed, can't wait to see all of them again. Jocks and blocmates and dorm mates and classmates and friends and everybody. wee. :)

BUT STILL. NAKAKATAMAD PUMASOK. >.<

and it's a bad time to leave pa, our Jap spitz gave birth to five puppies last week, but one of them died shortly after. so now we have four ADORABLE little puppies to take care of. three girls and a boy. they're SUPER CUTE. right now they're sweet and helpless and really really pink. hahah. they'll be opening their eyes in a few and i might miss it. hmmf. oh well.

lemme introduce my laptop pala! i'm using my laptop right now. wee. friends, meet Joey. Joey, meet friends. hahah pun. Joey is my Compaq Presario V3000. that's about the most i know about my laptop. hahah. i'm still undecided on whether Joey should be a girl or a boy, but i'm leaning towards girl. :)

hmm. i just know there's more to say, but i'm boring myself to death already. hahah. i'm really running on empty while writing this. i guess wit the sem about to start again i just had to write something, for the heck of it. wee. :)

hopefully i'll be stocked up on creative juices when i update next. don't wait for it though, that's not goin to be soon. hahah. XD

Avril's next single. watch for it. though i agree wit Migy, i really don't want it to get all famous and shit, it'll lose its, uh, sacredness. hahah. but it's a really really beautiful song, i fell in love with it the first time i heard it. you can listen to it on my multiply. :)

When You're Gone
Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you

Of Rain and Tradition.

2007-04-08T10:47:47Z

It's raining.

...Finally.

~~~

Natripan kong mag-update dahil umulan. Naisip ko na parang ulan sa Summer ang pag-uupdate ko: RARE. Hahah.

I just remembered that i said in one of my posts that i'd update with a literary piece about the rain. So, i guess this is timely, since it's raining. Wee.

This is from "Pagpanaw XI", the official literary folio of the UPLB Perspective. This was the 05-06 issue, i think. I got this summer last year.

Gawa Mo, ni Hiraya

SABI NG isang kakilala, may kultura daw na masayang-masaya kapag umuulan sa araw ng isang kasal. Ang turing nila doon ay "downpour of blessings." Ang turing ko sa kanila ay "romanticists." Ang turing nila sa akin ay "Bitter Ocampo." Hindi ako bakla. Ewan ko sila.

Hindi ko gusto ang ulan hindi dahil matagal matuyo ang sinampay. Hindi rin dahil mababasa ang payong ko, o dahil nakakatamad magdala ng payong, hassle sa jeep, mabaho ang usok ng yosi na kumapit sa basang-basang likod ng t-shirt, masarap matulog, mas masarap matulog kaysa sumundo sa girlfriend na kalahating oras nang naghihintay sa tapat ng tambayan ng KomArtSoc at angil na angil nang magdadakdak. Hindi rin dahil lumulutong ang medyas sa pagpapatuyo sa likod ng ref, nagmumukhang banderitas ang mga underwear na nakayangyang sa grills ng bintana. Hindi ko gusto and ulan hindi dahil sa mga 'to.

Simple lang naman ang rason ko: putik. Dahil hindi pa sementado ang nilalakaran ko. Kahit pa. May putik pa rin. Tapos na ang ulan, may putik pa rin. Sabi sa Bible, ang tao raw ay mula sa alabok. Dinuran nga ba ng Diyos? Basta, madaling maghulma ng basang lupa. Ng putik.

Pag may putik, naaalala kong limitado ako. Naipapaalala na nga ng ulan, na-ru-rub in pa ng putik. Kahit anong iwas ko, napuputikan pa rin ako. Ang pinakaayaw ko tuloy na equation ay soil+water=mud. Nade-depress ako. Kahit si Superman, napuputikan. Mayaman o mahirap, natatalsikan pa rin. Naaalala ko na may mga bagay na hindi ko kayang i-control. I-handle. Na hindi mag-aadjust sa akin ang panahon o pagkakataon. Pag umuulan, kahit ayaw ko, may putik. Kahit ayaw mong maghiwalay kayo, hindi mo rin siya mapipigiln. Kahit singdami ng ulan ang iluha mo, sing-lapot ng putik ang imuta mo, wala pa rin.

Ayoko ng ulan dahil sa putik. Dahil hindi ko siya napigilang umalis.[P]

Hmm. Hahah. I still love the rain all the same. :)

~~~

Last night, i stayed up until 4 in the morning. Nagdrowing ako mula midnight hanggang 4am. NAGDODRAWING NA ULIT AKO! Hahah. I was absolutely sure that i had lost my "skill" since it's been so long since i last produced a good sketch. But i did last night! Ang saya. It was my concept art for a character i'm planning to build a story upon. A girl holding a katana wearing a traditional Japanese samurai outfit (though i tweaked it a bit para dun sa character.) I called the sketch "Family Tradition." Wee. Hahah. Super proud ako kase antagal na talaga since nagdrowing ako. All thanks to Blood+. It's this new anime on Animax and i love it. It has vampires and blood ang katanas in it! Yeyy. It's produced by Aniplex. I love Aniplex. They're the ones who produced FullMetal Alchemist din. The animes that they come up with are always GOOD. And the voice talents are way, WAY better than Animax's. But anyhoo. NAGDODRAWING NA ULIT AKO! Yey! Sana magtuloy-tuloy na cia this Summer. Balak ko nga kasing gumawa ulet ng story. Ipagdasal niyo namang hindi ako tamadin. :)

~~~

This is the first Easter Sunday that we didn't have the traditional Easter "egg" hunt here at home. Every year kase during Easter, my dad hides "eggs" around the house, and me and my brother would go around hunting for them. The "eggs" would correspond to a certain amount of money. I was always the one who ended up with more "eggs." The reason why i keep enclosing the word "eggs" in quotation marks is because usually, they aren't eggs at all; they could be anything. Once they were peanuts, another time they were ping pong balls, and one time they were round-shaped stickers. So yun. Sad din, but it's okay. My mom says ibibigay nalang daw yun pera samin. Hahah. Oh well. Happy Easter everyone! XD

~~~

Too Little Too Late
Jojo

Come with me
Stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say
You know it's just too little too late
You take my hand
And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
You know it's just too little too late

So let me on down
'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real
It doesn't matter anyway
You know it's just too little too late

I was young
And in love
I gave you everything
But it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
You know it's just too little too late
Go find someone else
In letting you go
I'm loving myself
You got a problem
But don't come asking me for help
'Cause you know

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real
It doesn't matter anyway
You know it's just too little too late

I can love with all of my heart, baby
I know I have so much to give
With a player like you
I don't have a prayer
That's no way to live

It's just too little too late

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real
It doesn't matter anyway
You know it's just too little too late

It's just too little too late
a little too wrong
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real
It doesn't matter anyway
You know it's just too little too late

Cake burdei. Burdei Cake! Hahah!

2007-04-03T04:23:59Z

Burdei ng Cake ko nauun! 18 na Cake ko nauun! Haburdei haburdei! Haylabyuu! XD

Whee. hahah. Yeyy. Kelangan red. Yes. Haburdei Kim! n_n

Cranium tayo!

2007-03-25T11:46:35Z

(LBFM Top of the hour)

"It's exactly 4:00 in the afternoon and you're locked in to LBFM 97.4. We're broadcasting live from the second floor of the DevCom building only here in UP Los Banos and we are Local, Loud and Proud. Hey, this is your Jock Parker and this is the first leg of PhoneJam. I am glad to have you on board."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

CRAZY!! CRAZY!!! JOCKS NA KAMI!!! Like hell!!

I love it i love it i love it!!!

They gave us the verdict during the deliberations night, Mar20, 2007. We all passed the apprenticeship program! And Thursday, Mar22, 2007, we OFFICIALLY became Jocks, inducted and introduced to the organiza- no, family, with our respective airnames. Whee!!

Ciempre, madaming nanyare during the deliberations and the induction dinner.

Deliberations, Mar20, 2007, 8pm. Isang mahabang diskusyon tungkol sa training namin, sa strengths and weaknesses namin, at madami pa. Sa huli, nibigay an verdict. Nijoke pa nga nila kami na hindi kami pasa. Paiyak na ko. Tas sabay nibawi ni kuya Kiko at nisabing "The verdict is Yes, you're all in." Ayun, naiyak na ko. Hahah. Mayhem afterwards. Nagplay ng party music, nagsitayuan, nagusap, nagtilian (specifically kami ni Cole), AND, nituruan na kami ng handshake ng Jocks. WAAAA!!!

Induction dinner. Mar22, 2007, 9pm, nagmeet lahat ng Jocks sa booth, tas sabay sabay kami pumunta sa house-slash-mansion nina ate May, dun magdidinner. PAgdating dun, onting kwentuhan, dinner, tas games. SHET na Twister yan. Crazy. Refer to Cayo's multiply. Shet. Nagamit ko bigla lahat ng skills na nakuha ku sa dance club. Stretching like never before amf. Sakit sa katawan like hell peo at least, i won the round. Wahahah. XP Tapos, induction na. Una, awards awards, tas bigayan ng tokens. Tapos, Induction. isa isa kami pupunta sa harap, tas magbibigay ng message an bawat Jock, tas iiintroduce kami by our airnames. Super out of this world an feeling. Peo di na ku naiyak. Hahah. Whee. Tapos naming lahat mainduct, naglaro kami ng Cranium. It's the best game ever! Hahah. Hirap iexplain nung game, peo basically, it's all the party games ever invented in one game. Whee! Hahah. Nakakainis pa kase meh early exam aku (pati si Migy and si Cole) the next day, so mga bandang 430am, "nag-aral" na kami. Hahah. Ayun. We went home mga 630am, tired, sleepy and masakit an katawan, but it was the best feeling in the world. n_n

Basta, JOCKS NA KAMI!!!

After weeks of training and hard work and stress and walan tulog and tawanan and kulitan and pichuran..

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Awabshu Reds!!! Awabshu ate Angge! Awabshu Cole! Awabshu Cayo! Awabshu Nikko! Awabshu Migy!!
Awabshu awabshu awabshu!!!

Airnames! Whee!
Name, Red name (hahah), airname

Ate Angge - Little Red Riding Hood - Brooke
Cole - Princess Red - Calista
Cayo - Red Alert - Jason
Nikko - Big Red - Davis
Migy - Red Ranger - SniperJack
Chris - Red Firefly - Parker

Thank you po Jocks!!! Yeyy!! We'll be good babies. Hahah. XD

Jocks (name and airname)

Kuya Kiko - Wade
Kuya Josh - Caleb
Ate Janjan - Eris
Ate Jena - Candice
Kuya Cyrus - Chase
Ate May - Tami
Ate Karen - Raya
Ate Meryll - Nikki
Ninong Enoc - Ethan

Wheeeeee!!! Happy happy happy!!

Pichurs, ciempre.

my multiply: http://nakedballad.multiply.com/photos/

Cayo's multiply: http://cayo0000.multiply.com/photos

Migy's multiply: http://thenytcrawler.multiply.com/photos

Check out how we love ourselves. hahah. XJ

Oh, and debut pala ni Katkat nung Saturday, Mar24, 2007! Surprise debut. An INEEET. Peo it was super fun. I missed teh kulasas. Whee. Pichurs sa multiply ku din. XJ

Ayun. Masaya.

n_n

Ito an batch song ng Reds. Whee! Awabshu ulet! Hahah.

The Sweet Escape
Gwen Stefani

If I could escape
I would, but first of all let me say
I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Whatsoever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, Now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

You let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
Come on, let's bounce
Counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around let's look for some common ground

So baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy
Waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you're angry
By the way the you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
Want to take you with me

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Ttell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape
And re-create a place in my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet
I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape

It Ends Tonight. - The All American Rejects

2007-03-18T16:58:32Z

1229am. I'm leaving for LB again at 5am. I (deliberately) didn't do any of my homework. This is the product.

"Inspired" by

Michelle Branch,

Avril Lavigne,

The All American Rejects,

this alligator documentary I just watched on National Geographic,

and one certain praying man.

Don't comment on the creative aspects or whatever, please. It's not supposed to be creative or artistic. (And i already know i'm a bad writer. Really.)

It's not a poem, clearly. It's more of ranting, in verse. Hahah.

Interpret it however you want. That's what's beautiful about literature. Its meaning lies with whoever gives it meaning. A piece, when read by a million people, can have a million meanings. Yet it seems so sad at the same time, it may have an original meaning, the original soul that its author gave it, but nobody can really see it, nobody but the author.

(Uhm. Whaaaat? Hahah. That was complete and utter rambling. After-effects of missing my Fil20 class. Sir Dumlao, we miss you. >.<)

***

On Letting Go.

Like a little child, in the forest.

A forest before me, beautiful and free and pure.

I entered. Didn't know or understand what was waiting for me. All I knew was that it was beautiful.

Deceiving.

I entered with you holding my hand, but just as suddenly I was wandering on my own.

I went on walking. but not knowing where to.

And I got lost, couldn't find my way back.

I became weary, confused.

I couldn't see the little cabin at the edge of the forest, the sweet little squirrels running playfully around, my lovely little tricycle I could ride while singing and admiring the tall trees and fragrant wild flowers. I couldn't see them anymore.

No more.

Wounded, crying. I kept on walking. deeper and deeper.

Holding a dirty, ragged little stuffed bear close to my chest. My only protection. A fragile, useless, thing.

Lost. The dark growing darker, no paths to trace, no voices to follow.

I tried to find my way back home.

Believe me, I did.

But you didn't.

I couldn't, because I was weak, and heartless, and I was counting on you to find me and show me the way home.

But you didn't.

I couldn't, because you didn't show me how.

Or why.

You didn't try to find me, and now you've lost me.

Have you realized? You let go of my hand.

I'm throwing my bear away.

***

And when the stars fall,
I will lie awake.
You're my shooting star.

~Goodbye to You, Michelle Branch.

***

Pichurs!

2007-03-17T13:27:49Z

http://nakedballad.multiply.com/

Mejo umaayos na cia. Peo di ku pa nilalagyan ng kaartehan.

Tons of new photos, videos, music. Yeyy.

Yun lan muna. Next time na yun mga article. n_n

Girlfriend
Avril Lavigne

Hey hey you you
I don’t like your girlfriend
No way no way
I think you need a new one
Hey hey you you
I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you
I know that you like me
No way no way
No it’s not a secret
Hey hey you you
I want to be your girlfriend

You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about you all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright
Don’t pretend
I think you know
I’m damn precious
And hell yeah
I’m the motherfucking princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right

She’s like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about

Hey hey you you
I don’t like your girlfriend
No way no way
I think you need a new one
Hey hey you you
I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you
I know that you like me
No way no way
No it’s not a secret
Hey hey you you
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way
I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away
I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here
Tell me what I want to hear
Better yet
Make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again)

She’s like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about

Hey hey you you
I don’t like your girlfriend
No way no way
I think you need a new one
Hey hey you you
I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you
I know that you like me
No way no way
No it’s not a secret
Hey hey you you
I want to be your girlfriend

In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in
She’s so stupid
What the hell were you thinking

In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in
She’s so stupid
What the hell were you thinking

Hey hey you you
I don’t like your girlfriend
No way no way
I think you need a new one
Hey hey you you
I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you
I know that you like me
No way no way
No it’s not a secret
Hey hey you you
I want to be your girlfriend

Notes on Psychology, Coffee and Fear.

2007-03-07T04:19:13Z

Last friday's Psychology class was about human defense mechanisms. When something threatens us, we use defense mechanisms to adapt or deal with the situation we're in. Like camouflage or mimicry for animals, people also have defense mechanisms. We use these unconsciously, sometime involuntarily. I find that i relate to these particular defense mechanisms the most.
(these aren't the exact definitions, mind you, i left my hand outs sa LB. n_n)

1. Regression - reverting to an earlier mental or emotional level.

Remember when we were kids, if we couldn't get what we wanted, we'd scream and throw tantrums and stomp our feet and slam doors. When we don't get things our way, we have a tendency to regress, to act like we did when we were kids. When we were babies, we get what we want when we cry. We unconsciously regress because we want to go back to that period when we easily got our way.

I needed a few items for an upcoming pictorial and a semi-formal affair. We went to the mall last Saturday. My mom wouldn't buy me black eyeliner. In comes regression. ("EHHH! Dali naaaa...") My mom did buy me eyeliner. (but not black though, she bought me a blue one and a white one. Neat.)

...Along with a black dress, a pink dressy top (SO feminine), a black skirt, and two pairs of shoes.

Not that i WHINED my way into getting those; most of those were bought willingly. Kelangan ku naman kasi talaga. But still. Effective diba?

2. Rationalization - reasoning out, explaining things to seem reasonable

For example. Acads. You tell yourself, "I didn't like that subject anyway." or "I was sick last night and wasn't able to study." or "That prof really doesn't know how to teach."

Or, "Napipilitan lan naman akong kunin and Nasc2 at Math2 dahil prerog aku dun eh."

Hahah.

My favorite defense mechanism. Personally, most of the things that i say or do are, uhm, not good? so I rationalize a lot.

Procrastination - Weekends are supposed to be rest days.
Overeating - This is Japanese food, it's HEALTHY.
"Criticizing" other people - It's a healthy intellectual discussion on what looks good and what doesn't.
Talking about other people - For the pursuit of truth and knowledge!

...et al. Conveniently most of my good friends share this habit with me. rationalization seems to make my life so worthwhile. When nothing seems to make sense, i create my own.

3. Denial - the most basic defense mechanism there is. We simply refuse to accept the reality that is threatening us. This is usually our first defense mechanism, whether the stimuli that approach are good or bad.

In other news.

The Jocks pre-finals and finals AREN'T coming. So are the final tests and exams.
The sem's NOT about to end.
I'm NOT getting fat.

Oh well.

There really are things that we simply refuse to recognize as the truth. I've been having fits of schizophrenia recently, because i am denying something from myself; i CANNOT accept it. I know i have to agree with myself at some point, but i don't want to just yet. No, not yet.

******

My "research paper" is about coffee. No particular problem, just informative research. Of course, i didn't really research, most of my paper's from the net. But my prof won't know (and won't care probably). And i READ everything, i really did, i edited them and stuff. Plus, the UPLB Lbrary sucks, all the books that i searched for in the card catalog that could help me (yes, i actually searched) weren't at the shelves, so forgive me if i didn't get enough sources. And, my paper's 30pages long. I think that should do, right? (See how rationalization works for me?)

(FYI, my English 2 class is a big joke, i don't want to elaborate on why, but my not taking it seriously is very, VERY valid.)

Anyhoo. I found out thaaaaat, coffee doesn't really stunt our growth, it's the lack of sleep (because of te caffeine) that does. Technically we drink our coffee with milk, so it should add to the calcium in our body.

Aaaaand, that most of the negative effects of coffee that we know (like constipation, heart diseases, problems with pregnancy etc.) don't really have a lot to do with coffee, it's with what goes with the coffee. Most of the people that were found with heart disease "because" of coffee smoke and drink alcohol too, and it's this that causes the heart problems. Generally, most of the findings say that coffee induces negative effects when drunk excessively. Similar to, hmmn, every single other thing in this planet. Kahit anu naman, pag sobra, masama. So yeah. I have rationalized my way into drinking coffee again. Peo dahil maciado nang yellow an teeth ku, cut down padin.

Hahah. I just made up three paragraphs of pointless ramblings only to end up where i started. Hahah.

******

I'm afraid. I'm weak.

I thought i was strong, and that i could face anything head on.

But i'm not, and i can't.

I'm not as strong as i think i am or as i appear to be.

(Sheesh, emo shit. I know, i know. I'll get it over with quick.)

I'm afraid to give up what i have, to lose what i have.

I don't want to experience pain.

It's good to be vulnerable at times. It's actually normal.

But this isn't the time to be weak.

I shouldn't be afraid.

"March 2, 2007

Dear Chris,

*Raar!

-Kitty-

*Raar: pertains to being courageous"

Thank you po, miss Izabel.

I'm never alone. I'm not afraid.

Why should i be afraid to lose something that... i don't want to continue the sentence na. Hahah.

******

Next post: Literary pieces!! Not mine. One about appetite, the other about the rain. Oooy. Nakarelate ako sa kanila eh. Hahah. XJ

Girlfriend. updated 02/25/07, 8:32pm

2007-02-24T18:22:47Z

Let me rant.

It's 2am and i have nothing to do.

Except maybe pull my stomach out from my body.

Hahah. Damn. Tummyache. Acidity. Kind of like World War III taking place in my insides. hmmmmf. >.<

Anyhoo. Rant.

I haven't had proper sleep for a few days now, laging putol-putol tulog. And i've been having recurrent dreams. Tsk tsk. Disturbed?

I LOVE "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. Rockin' vocals.

Level 13 na ku sa O2Jam!! Hahah.

I miss dancing. Sobra. Gusto ku na magsummer. Nagpplan aku magworkshop. I want to dance. I'm getting fat. I need exercise.

Addicted sa necklace. Hahah. Gusto ku ng bagong dreamcatcher. At ng serpent necklace. At nung heart na necklace sa Kamiseta. At ng bagong choker. Hahah. Pengeng pera. XP

~~Nakakamiss na mag-RP.~~ Nagmall kami kanina, peo hindi RP. Sta. Lucia. Peo ganun nadin yun. Yeyy, Enjoy kami ni kuya sa pagspot ng mga taong maayos ang suot (kase pag yun opposite eh hindi namin mabibilang. YABANG!! XP) Peo totoo. Isang girl lan nakita ku na gusto ku yun suot. Naka light turquoise cia na cami tas pink sweater. TAPOS. Pumasok kami ni kuya sa Artwork. Isang malaking pagkakamali, dahil nakita ku dun and kauna-unahang cap na bumagay sakin.. Green, er, camo pala. Literal, UNANG-UNA. Caps don't suit me kase. So yeah, i have a nagging feeling na bilin cia. Peo alam naman nating lahat na bankrupt ako, Huhu. >.< Oh well. At least nagpopcorn kami. Masaia padin ako. XJ

~~I need to have my hair trimmed. An haba na pala nia. Scary.~~ Had my hair trimmed kanina umaga. An dami ng niikli nia. Whaaa. Peo okie nadin. Hindi aku sanay ng hindi abot sa bewang buhok ku. >.<

I have a new Starbucks mug! Hahah. It's not the one i wanted, but still. Yay.

Nabwibwiset aku sa unlimited. Unreasonable na nga, inefficient pa. Antagal ku lagi maregister. Tas on time pag maeexpire. Greedy pigs. 0_o

I miss Evanescence.

"Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight."

I want to watch "If Only" again.

Lapit na ng March. Hell weeks up ahead. Tas pre-finals and finals pa sa jocks. Tas tapos na second sem. Ambilis. I'd like the sem to end already, peo pede bang wag ku na daanan lahat ng kelangan gawin? Nakakatamad. Hahah. O_o

Ayun. Rant over. :)

Oh, BY THE WAY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DV1VEdDbxU&NR

See Avril in sexy shorts!
See Avril in heels!
See Avril in fishnet stockings!
SEE AVRIL DANCING!! WITH BACK-UP DANCERS!!

Sooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuute!!

Avril's new video, "Girlfriend", from her third album, "The Best Damn Thing."

I LOVE IT.

Haters will hate her SO much more when they see/hear this from her. I know it.

But it's so damn cute to me.

A 360 degree turn from Under My Skin's dark music. The Best Damn Thing's supposedly very upbeat. Judging from it's carrier single, it's VERY upbeat.

As Migy put it, VERY Cheerleader-ish.

Really. XP

Akalain mu yun.

2007-02-18T17:30:14Z

http://nakedballad.multiply.com/

Whaw. nagkamultiply ME. hahah. yuck. biruin mu yun. hahah.

kia lan naman aku nagkamultiply ay ayoko na maulit yun nanyare sa dati kung phone na nacorrupt at bye-bye-bye memories. kia eto, storage. ayus. hahah.

still under construction. peo meh pichurs na. n_n

i LOVED this week.

2007-02-15T14:41:55Z

The title speaks for itself. I LOVED THIS WEEK.

(ito'y isang mahabang update, kung saan nagdadadaldal lan aku ng tuloy tuloy. kumusta naman, good luck sa pag-intindi. hahah. an hirap ng hyper.)

Let's pretend the week started Friday (Feb9), okay?

Friday, Feb9.

Supposedly i was going to watch the St.Scho Variety show with Ahlee and Aiel. It was a friday and i took an early bus home so i could get to the show on time, gates close at 8pm. But somewhere during the trip Aiel texted me and told me we didn't have tix. Bummer. I really wanted to go and watch the dance club perform. And i wanted to see Aiel so much. I didn't want to waste my trip home, kase Saturday afternoon i would be going back to LB na agad (reason to be explained). So i texted Aiel and asked her if we could eat out nalan. We met up at Shakey's sa Blue Wave. Ajei and his (really pretty) tita were there too, and his tita treated us to dinner. GO PIZZA! Then, after Ajei's tita left na, we had coffee sa Starbucks. We didn't waste precious time, camwhoring was the way to go! Dami pichurs, katamad mag upload. Wahahahah. XP So my trip home was definitely not wasted. I thought it was going to be a bad day. Thanks Aiel and Ajei! Next time, next time. XD

Saturday, Feb10.

Naglevel-up aku sa O2Jam, Hahah! XD
I went back to LB na that afternoon since meh early field trip aku Sunday. I arrived at about 730pm, and met up with some friends. It was Chame's birthday kase, and it was tradition sa APC (Alpha Phi Chorva - don't ask.) to throw a surprise burdei whatever. Kahit alam mu na na meh surprise, di mu talaga malalaman kun anu manyayare. I was always the mastermind. Yeah. The last surprise i threw, napaiyak namin si Gela for the first time. Hindi yun umiyak, well, umiyak, peo hindi yun hagulgol iyak, nung nagbreak sila ng boyfriend nia of, uhm, basta matagal na. And we made her cry nung buradei nia. Yeah. So anyway, we planned to not throw anything for Chame on the night of her burdei, but do something else some other night, para di expected. We planned a treasure hunt for her. She turned 19 na, so we listed down 19 significant/memorable places sa LB that APC went to, like our classroom nung first sem where we first met. Mala-amazing race, where she'd go to a place then find the stop where her clue to the next place is. It was late na when we finished planning. Eh since i had a field trip the next day, i told them to take care of the materials and stuff while i was gone. I started na with the clues that night (mini poems describing the place) and slept at 430am.

*Alpha Phi Chorva is me, Gela, Eah and Chame. We were Speechcomm classmates nung first sem.

Sunday, Feb11.

I woke up at 6am (yeah, 1 and a half hour sleep before a field trip) and got ready for my field trip for my Psychology class. We were going to Brahma Kumaris in Tagaytay. It was this place where you could escape and meditate and stuff. They offered courses for spirituality, learning the self, stuff like that. They also had Tai Chi (dunno how to spell it) and anger management courses. It was a really REALLY nice place, i wanted to live there na. They also offered only vegan food, healthy living. Ayos. Hahah.
We had group activities and stuff. I really didn't get a lot from the trip, only two things: lots of pictures and new friends. Hahah. There was this activity where we had pieces of paper taped to our backs and people were to write what they appreciated about you. Tas there was this one classmate that i noticed before pa was kind of creepy (i would catch him staring at times during class). But i also felt like he wanted to talk to me or something. During that activity i was surprised that he approached me and wrote on my paper, and he wrote "i appreciate the fact that you love avril, i love her too!". Parang walalan yun statement peo natuwa aku. Ayun.

I arrived home to find that Eah and Gela weren't able to finish anything (don't want to go into details), so we stayed up late finishing up. We didn't actually finish, i was so tired after the trip i couldn't accomplish anything. Eh i helped someone pick out costumes for a play pa. So yun, tired as hell.

Monday, Feb12.

Super hell day. Eng2 reporting. We were going to report about our research topics. Mine was about coffee, It was super haggard, but i got a very good out of it, so. Go Wikipedia and mad reporting skills. Hahah. We finished up Chame's burdei din. Sobrang cramming, but we managed to make it work. Though i wasn't around when she finished the hunt kase we had duty sa FebFair. It was a success naman, sobrang nagulat daw cia and natouch. Yeyy.
FebFair ng UPLB! The jocks were hosting the event, and the trainees were to co-host din. Meaning WE were to host din. Whaaa! Exciting! Hahah. FebFair was super fun. Yun na. Total bonding with the jocks. We spent the whole night (7pm-130am) at the fair. Since the org was hosting, we had a complimentary booth (right next to the stage!) to stay at. There were TONS of other booths with activities and stuff. Daming food, daming games, basta masaia. First night ng first FebFair ku = awesome.

Tuesday, Feb13.

The day was uneventful, the night very well was not. It was my shift to co-host na. I was going to host with Kuya Wade. At around 7pm, we were just setting up the booth and talking when one of the stage managers called out "jocks! jocks! host na!" I was literally SHOCKED into hosting, kase we weren't able to get a proper run-through of the program. All i had with me was a copy of the sponsors and all my guts. GRABE, super thrilling. Scary sa una, and i wasn't able to adlib a lot. But i was getting comfortable na with the job. It was super fun! But then when i was really getting into it na, we checked the schedule and matatapos na pala shift ku. 7-10pm talaga cia, but the segments from 8-10 were special segments hosted by other jocks. BITIN. But it was okay, it was AMAZING, I asked kuya Wade to evaluate my hosting. He said nung una, i really wasn't into it yet, i needed to adlib more. But that was fine na. My diction was really good daw. Sa loob loob ku, shet yes! yun nalan an nag iisang pinanghahawakan ku, the basis of my pride and existence, and it was confirmed by kuya Wade. YES!! Maganda talaga diction ku!! YEHEY!!! Hahahah. And, prepare for this, he also said that i sounded like a hot chick on stage. WHOOOAAAAA. ANG GALING!! Kahit minsan maging hot chick naman aku! YEAH!! Tawa aku ng tawa. Nikabahan pa ku kase paos aku that day. Peo nakisama sina vocal chords at pag nag o-on stage aku eh umaayos boses ku. Katuwa. Tapus, we were televised pa ata, kase Studio23 covered the fair. Kaloka. I only found out nung tapus na kami maghost. Hahah. Grabe, sooooobrang lupet nung night na yun.

That night din, we had a sleep, er, stay over ulet sa apartment ni Cayo, and this time, kumpleto na kaming anim na batchmates, plus kuya Wade and ate Nikki. All nighter! An astig pa kase SOMEONE forgot their keys to the apartment and we had to break in. Kahit na stressing, we were still laughing. Thanks to Nikko's mad skills, we got in. I swear, the jocks can SO pass for burglars. So yun, the night was composed of junk food, ice cream, cards, more cards, laptops and cameras. SUPER FUN, as always. I love the jocks and the reds. Wheee. So i spent the first hours of Valentine's day with people that i love. Nax.

Wednesday, Feb14.

Oooy, Valentine's. Hahah. Umalis kami kena Cayo ng 730am. With no sleep and all energy, i went back to my dorm, naghilamos, changed clothes and went to my first class. Which i slept through. Most of us do anyway, it's a large class (100+) and the prof wasn't there pa that day, group reporting lan. Afterwards, brekfast with Ahlee, then off to dreamland i went. Mga 1030am nasa dorm na ku, and i slept until 1pm. Tas nagising aku and took a bath, then tulog ulit until 6pm. YEAH. Then FebFair ulit. Most of my Valentine's day was spent with the jocks, which is fitting naman since i love them. The guys were sweet pa nga, they gave us girls white roses. Tas we were playing around sa field, like luksong baka and habulan and stuff. Patawa. Tapus i had a dinner date with Ahlee and Ica!! Wahahahah. I got to the dorm mga 145am na, and i remembered my room mate was on an overnight, so i had the room to myself. So i had lots of time for me din. Walang kasing saya, best Valentine's for me.

Thursday, Feb15.

8am, sumibat na kami ni Ahlee ng LB. Walan pasok until Friday due to Palarong UPLB. So ayun. Pagkauwi, we went to Starbucks with my kuya. Sibling bonding! An gulo naing tatlo dun. Hahah. NIbili ku si Ahlee ng Sans Rival from Goldilocks (she had a bad encouter kase sa MRT) tas nilibre, er, half libre ku si kuya ng coffee tas share kami sa chocolate cake, then meon din aku cathedral window. Super sweet tooth. Hahah. An saia, parang mga sugar rushed kami dun. Umuwi kami mga 430pm. Naun, naglalaro si kuya ng Silent Hill, nanunuod aku. Whee. An saia, i missed mi family! Sarap ng feeling ng bahay. AT, walan pasok bukas! YEHEY. n_n

Ayan. Up to date. Hahah. Natutuwa aku ng sobra. An saia saia ng buhay. Kaso the upcoming weeks aral mode na naman. Hai, back to work. Peo okie lan. Masaia naman mundo ku. n_n

Hope everybody had a wonderful time din this week! Mwah! Loves to everybody. *xoxoxo*

Dahil mahaba na an entry, di na ku maglalagay ng kanta. waheheh. XD

Maghohost na ku mamaya. SHET.

2007-02-13T08:21:36Z

Maghohost na ku mamaya.
Maghohost na ku mamaya.
Maghohost na ku mamaya.
Maghohost na ku mamaya.
Maghohost na ku mamaya.
Maghohost na ku mamaya.

Maghohost na ku mamaya.

patay. patay.

ilayo niu ku sa stage. wah.

screw it. FebFair rocks.

bahala na.

good luck sakin. hahah.

ahlee wag mu na ku panuorin.

whee. magpapakasaia nalan aku pagkatapos. go foodtrip.

aw crap. hahah. Gusto ku ng chocolate cake ng Starbucks. nyar.

Why
Avril Lavigne

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

I love Thursday nights. XD VERSION TWO

2007-02-04T14:00:26Z

***REVISED***

DAHIL MEH NAGREKLAMO, SIGE FINE. IREVISE. HAPPY CAYO?? XP

Wow. i updated. Would you look at that. XP

READ BEFORE CLICKING.

http://cayo0000.multiply.com/photos/album/38

--> Photos of me and my beloved jockies on a "normal" thursday night. We at kuya Wade's apartment, or, the roof of his apartment.

AND THEN AFTERWARDS, WE SPENT THE NIGHT, er, MORNING, AT CAYO'S APARTMENT.

(i checked out these pictures a second time. what the HELL were we thinking?!? 0_o)

The sky was clear, the stars were pretty and the moon was full.

We were raving unstoppably about, both in english and tagalog, (and possibly another language that only we can understand), laughing like we could burst our bladders on the spot and camwhoring like there was no tomorrow.

We played every card game imaginable, screamed at bloody effing blue colored ghosts (which were not scary AT ALL), and shared thoughts, feelings, i've never's and i want to's.

SUPER FUN.

You'll see me at my very worst ever in images - sweaty, oily, my already prominent cheekbones being overexposed, my hair, well, everywhere, super happy faces, wild candids and corny group poses, my similarity with the grudge ghost, photos of my non-existent ass sticking out for some reason i cannot explain, freak poses trying to look good on camera (which is, you know, impossible) and one shitty shot where i was caught laughing with my mouth wide open like a horse could fit in it.

But i don't give a damn if i look shitty. (We all did naman eh. Hahah.)
Let's all look shitty together.

Go Reds! (and kuya Wade. XD)
We're the shittiest, but really the hottest and the best people i know.

Kuya Wade - guy in brown jacket
Nikko - guy in black jacket (that i WANT)
Cayo - guy in blue jacket, WHOSE APARTMENT WE WENT TO AFTERWARDS.
Migy - guy in white shirt
Cole - girl in pink jacket
Angge - girl in pink striped shirt
Me - person, not girl, person (hahah joke), in yellow . in case you didn't know. XP

UNFORTUNATELY, Nikko didn't make it to most of the "photo shoot" since he had to leave. hrmf. oh well. there WILL be a next time.
Thanks to Cayo, THE GUY THAT OWNS THE APARTMENT WE SPENT THE NIGHT AT, for the pix.

I'll write about happenings some other time. Just wanted to make my journal feel like i'm not ignoring it. *wipes fourth layer of dust off* XJ

Hay.

I miss my Christmas spirit. Kasi namaaaaan.

Oh well.

Tomorrow
Avril Lavigne

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how to feel,
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
Just do

Gimme a lil time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

Tomorrow it may change..
Tomorrow it may change..
Tomorrow it may change..
Tomorrow it may change.

(YAN NA HA, NIACKNOWLEDGE NA. OKEI NA??)

HAHAH. XP

Kunyare kaka-New Year lan.

2007-01-07T17:12:05Z

Guess this is a bit late. Actually, it's really late. But then again, this is the only time i've got for updating. 0_o

2007 Resolutions

1. Write in Fiona (my planner-slash-"diary") every day/night.

     Just to keep my life in order. And to remember stuff. Everybody i know knows that my memory is as sharp as a stuffed animal. So this is going to be helpful. So far so good with this one. Fiona's looking really busy. n_n

2.Learn the rare, elusive skill that is "time management."

     W-ell. Yeah. It's unattainable for me, i know. but no harm in trying right?

3.Practice going home from/going back to elbi alone.

     Hahah. Or even just TRY it once. I'm a big dependent baby and i can't/don't commute on my own. Yup, yup. But i have to grow up soon, i guess. But i'm really in no hurry. XP

4.Eat no less than two meals a day.

     ...And finish them. Hahah. I made a promise, so i guess i'm attached to this one.

5.Learn to tie a necktie.

     I've accomplished this one already. Yay me! XD Hahah. I included it here even though i've done it already. So i have something to redeem myself with when the year-end evaluation comes. XJ

6.Do sit-ups and/or work out whenever i can.

     See, originally in my planner, this reads "do sit-ups and/or work out at least during weekends." But i already broke it since i didn't work out this weekend. So, i, uhm, altered it a bit. Ahe. >.<

7.Cut down on caffeine.

     Yeah. Christmas break was a TOTAL Starbucks trip. But caffeine's supposedly bad. And i feel so bloated in my tummy area every after i drink coffee. I HATE being bloated in my tummy. AND, really, i don't want my teeth any more yellow than they already are. But i'm going to cut down after we (ahlee and i) finish a friend's planner card. Hahah. Exceptions are: during emo depression days, stress/heavy homework days, and pag malakas talaga craving. But with the Toffee Nut Latte sold out, that's going to be rare.

8.Recall life mottos.

     I guess since this school year started i've kind of forgotten or changed the way i deal with things. Like thinking positively, or never being seen without a smile on my face, or believing that everything will be alright. I think things will go downhill for me if i totally forget. So i'm bringing me back. Thanks to Aiel for reminding me. n_n

9.Save up.

     Hahah! Asa. Peo i really want to, with an impending EK trip up ahead. And i want to buy some stuff. My Warrior of the Light fund's depleted thanks to the Christmas break. And i still want to buy that UST jacket. And, uhm, something else. Hahah.

10.Make the people i love feel even more loved.

     Ah, this one.
It's my greatest fear, to be left alone. To have nobody there for you. To forget and to be forgotten (hence, my second greatest fear, amnesia.). I don't want that. Which is why i try, every single day, to make the people i love feel that i love them. Say "thank you" and "sorry" and "take care" and "i'm listening" and "i miss you" and "i love you" and "i'm always here for you" and others. And not just say them. Mean them. Do them. This is my favorite responsibility, one that i'm doing and will continue to do even until after 2007. I guess you can say this isn't a resolution, it's a way of life. And this, i will never stop doing. Maybe even until after my life ends! XP

So there. My New Year's resolutions. My decisions, my promises. Let's see if i keep them. I hope you guys keep yours as well. Happy New Year! n_n

*****

Ciempre, I'm not ending a journal update without, tenen! LYRICS. Hahahah. Shit. Loser. Anyhoo.

Too Much To Ask
Avril Lavigne

Its the first time I ever felt this lonely
I wish someone could cure this pain
Its funny when you think its gonna work out
Til you chose weed over me, you're so lame
I thought you were cool until the point
Up until the point you didnt call me
When you said you would
I finally figured out youre all the same
Always coming up with some kind of story

Everytime I try to make you smile
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Everytime I try to make you laugh
You can't
Youre too tough
You think you're the best
Is it too much that I'm asking for?

I thought you'd come around when I ignored you
So I thought you'd have the decency to change
But babe, I guess you didn't take that warning
'Cause I'm not about to look at your face again

Can't you see that you lie to yourself
You can't see the world through a mirror
It wont be too late when the smoke clears
'Cause I, I am still here

But everytime I try to make you smile
You'd always grow up feeling sorry for yourself
Everytime I try to make you laugh
You stand like a stone
Alone in your zone
Is it too much that I'm asking for?

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Can't find where i am
Lying here
Alone I fear
Afraid of the dark
No one to claim
Alone again

Can't you see that you lie to yourself
You can't see the world through a mirror
It wont be too late when the smoke clears
'Cause I, I am still here

Everytime I try to make you smile
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Everytime I try to make you laugh
You can't
You're too tough
You think you're the best
It was too much that I'm asking for

Breathing
Lifehouse

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the straps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

Just because it's Christmas.

2006-12-24T15:28:25Z

All I Want for Christmas is You
Olivia Olson
from "Love Actually"

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Clause won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

I don't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells singing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
Won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You...
All I want for Christmas

Whee. Aku na'ng mahilig maglagay ng lyrics sa journal. Hahah.

I was watching "Love Actually" last midnight kasi. Uber mushy, i know. But it's Christmas. It was a pretty night, i just had to watch it. n_n

An ganda nung movie. Kahit na napanuod ku na yun before pa. It gets better each time you watch it, parang new movie every time. And hindi nakakasawa.

I watched it again kanina, this time with my brother. Hahah. Papanuodin ku ulit cia, i can feel it. XP

Anyhoo.

It's Christmas!
Yay!! *throws confetti*

FOOOOOD!!! *goes berserk*
Hahahah. Nothing quite like the traditional Christmas feast eh? I look forward to ours every year. I'm especially excited about Christmas this year, since i wasn't home 80% of the time, thanks to the convenient distance of my campus. Thank the Lord for the miracle that is "mom's home cooking." Hahah. On the downside, this can't be good for Ahlee, Ica, Eizel and me. Oh well. It's Christmas. Bloated belly world, bring out the welcoming party. XP

This year's Christmas seems a bit extra Christmassy, don't you think? The holidays the past few yers weren't like this. I mean, how can i put it, for the past years, it was like, "Oh. Holidays. Right. Sure" They just, came and went. But this year, something's a bit off (in a good way), like, the Christmas spirit was tangible and you could grab it right from thin air. I don't know why, maybe for others it isn't But for me, Christmas is definitely alive this year. It's nice and i love it.

Hmm. Happenings. Uhm, i went to UST's Paskuhan last Dec20. That was my first Paskuhan. Hahah. The day itself was TOTAL crap, all thanks to the wonderful staff of the MRT. Hahah. But it was good that the Gateway crowd was so FASHIONISTA. Ahlee and i had a wonderful time making fun of people and their outfits, over coffee. Gawd, i hate trends, but what i hate even more is when people try to follow them and fail miserably. But don't get me wrong, i enjoy, uhm, "criticizing" other people's clothing. Hahah. Evil, i know. Call it a guilty pleasure. XP

Anyway. The Paskuhan was really nice. I went there with my brother, but i met up with Aiel and the others later. I didn't get to see the Fireworks show, but that's okay. I went there to see people, not fireworks. Hahah. I was there for just about two or three hours since we had to leave early. But i had SO much fun. Aiel introduced me to some of her classmates, who frankly i don't recall anymore. Hahah. Sorry. But it was dark and noisy and, there were a LOT of names. >.< I guess half the time i was there i spent with Emil (thank you, again, so much, for the gift, er, gifts. n_n) walking around and trying to decide what to eat. Hahah. From there it was all catching up and kwentuhan. I loved it. Thanks to Aiel, Emil, Ajei, Ketchup, Andrewly, everybody. I had a blast and i'm looking forward to next year. XD

***
Commercial lan.

O_O

OKAY. My brother just said the WEIRDEST thing.
So i'm here upstairs, typing quietly, and he suddenly shows up and says, "Oi, mag-ayos ka ng katawan mo ha."
So i'm like, "Wha-?" And he says, "Ilang taon ka na? 17 no? *pauses and thinks* Pagkagraduate mo, ako magiging manager mo. Mag-model ka ha. Seryoso yun. Bagay kasi sayo eh." And he goes down the stairs.

...

O_O

I. Was. LOST. Hahah. I could hear my brain say, "Dude. I'm packing."
He went down the stairs and i was left staring at where he was standing for about 15seconds. Stumped. Hahah.
Maybe he's gotten too much food? 0_o

***

Hahah. ANYWAY.

It's amazing how a few words can make a person's day so, SO much better. Cliche, but most true. It's really touching when you find out that people remember you. Receiving a simple "Chris! Happy Birthday!" from people you don't even expect to know your birthday is just, just, that. You can't find words for it. And just now i've received messages from my best friend, Chame and mi kosa wishing me a Happy Birthday. It's just really nice when people show you and make you feel that they care. There'es nothing quite like it. Honestly, it makes me teary-eyed. Hahah. Aww. So a bg big THANK YOU to everybody for making me feel so loved.
I hope i make you guys feel the same way everyday. No point in not showing how we feel, is there? Mwaaaaaaaaaaaahs. :-*

So there. That's an update. Hahah.
This one's kinda mellow. Hahah. Oh well. It's Christmas. XJ

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! XD

Oh, and btw. I have a Christmas pimple. Right on my nose. Hahah. 0_o

Here are a few quotes from "Love Actually."
Walalan. Pang-ending. n_n

David (Hugh Grant)
(this is the movie's introduction.)

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually, is all around.

***

Daniel (Liam Neeson), to his son Sam (Thomas Sangster) ---> my favorite characters in the movie!

(after the Christmas presentation)
"Tell her that you love her. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't. I should've told your mom. Everyday. Because she was perfect everyday."

(at home)
Daniel: You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam: There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me.
[holds up one finger]
Sam: She's "the one".
Daniel: Fair enough.

(again, at home)
Sam: There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, maybe if I was in the band, and played absolutely superbly, there's a chance she might actually fall in love with me. What do you think?
Daniel: I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam: That I don't play a musical instrument.
Daniel: Yessir.
Sam: A tiny, insignificant detail.

***

Jaime (Colin Firth) and Aurelia (Lucia Moniz) ---> the writer and helper pairing, i love them too.
Jaime: It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: (in Portugese) It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you.

***

Mark (Andrew Lincoln) to Juliet (Keira Knightley) ---> waaaa!! i love Andrew Lincoln's character. *sniff* >.<
[on sheets of poster board]
With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this
[shows picture of a mummy]

***

Natalie ( Martine McCutcheon) to David (Hugh Grant)
[written on a Christmas card]
"...Particularly because (if you can't say it at Christmas, when can you eh?) I'm actually yours. With love, your Natalie."

***

n_n

I can listen to Iris again.

2006-12-04T04:19:17Z

Yehey! Meh fixed schedule na ku! Wahah. >.<

MWF
8-9 - Nasc2
10-11 - Eng2
1-2 - Psy1

TTH
10-1130 - Fil21
1130-1 - Math2 (finally!)
230-4 - Sosc1

Yan na an bungi-bungi na sched. Hahah. At least meon. XP

Hm. Hindi ku na siguro iuupdate yun mga nanyare last week at last last week, nakakalungkot lan yun at nakakasawa na an malungkot.
Mag-aala artista nalan aku at magththank you sa mga taong kasama ku sa nung last two weeks. Literal, kun wala kau eh naupo lan siguro aku sa isang tabi at umiyak. n_n

Ahlee, Ica and Eizel. An mga unang niiyakan ku. Sa phone, sa Rm207 or sa labas ng NCAS building man. Hahah. At hanggang sa last na problema ay niiyakan ku padin. Kayo na. Salamat ng sobra. Let's show UP what we're made of. Bwahahah.
(Ahlee. Ano, isang asawa ng Chancellor tas isang Jueteng Lord? XP)
(Ica and Eizel. since pumirma na tau sa contract, we're now officially nerds. Yehey.)

Bea and Hazel. Prerog buddies. Yehey. Galing natin. Iba talaga appeal ng C3 Bonitas. Hahah! Shet. Lakas. Wahahah. Ihahatid ku kau sa Nasc1 classes niu, promise. Hanap naman tau ng ibang kakainan kesa Mcdo. Mejo nakakasuka na, Hahah.

APC. Kahit na sa tatlong minutong nipasok ku an venue ng Rockathon at muntik na aku mamatay, masaia padin. We shall proven soon. I miss Spcm1 days. Wahah. Tatambay na tau forever sa Devcom building.

Aiel. Kahit wala kang ka-ide-idea na nalulugmok na pala aku sa trahedya, an mga paminsan-minsan mong text na namimiss mu aku ay forever nang nagpasmile saken. Lahat sila nakasave pa sa phone ku. Yihee. n_n

Emil. Ikaw na ang masipag magbasa ng nobela sa text. Hahah. Salamat sa pagdamay. Sorry kung forever na aku nagrant sau, promise tapos na. Dec5 nadin bukas, so totally free ka na! Salamat din sa pagpangalan ng phone ku. And many other things. Hahah. Cindy likes her name. >.<

Kim. My darling Cake! Whaw. An tamis. Hindi ku nakwento sau an mga escapades ku sa UP. Peo sau ku nisabe yun problem ku nung Saturday. Hahah. Matters that bestfriends talk about. Yihee. Hahah. Thanks. At malunod ka na sa ka-cheesyhan ng mga suitors mu. Hahah! Joke. XP

Ang mabunyi kong pamilya! Hahah. Ang galing nila parents, naintindihan nila ang "system" ng UP na dalawang taon before naintindihan ng magulang ni Ahlee. Hahah. Salamat sa food and lodging. At sa shopping nung Saturday. Wahahah.

Lahat kayo, and everyone else. Sana forever na kayong anjan.

Sa mga nagbigay sakin ng problema. Yehey senio, i got through.

I have nothing to fear.
I'm never alone.

***

AT NGAYON.
Meon aku dalawang kantang nikakaadikan. Imbyernang imbyerna na kuya ku kasi etong dalawa lan laman ng playslit ku nung weekend, at aku pa forever nasa PC. Yehey for me! Hahah. Download niu, maganda. n_n

Keep Holding On
Avril Lavigne
Eragon Soundtrack

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Only One
Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

Sing with me?

Blank.

2006-12-01T09:47:35Z

Andaming nanyare.

Andami dami dami dami damiiiiiiiiing nanyare!!

Dalawan linggo aku nawala at andaming nanyare sa buhay ku na nararapat lamang masulat dito.

Peo dahil nga andaming nanyare, hindi ku malaman kun anu at panu aku magsusulat. Hahah.

Dahil jaaaaaaan, eto na muna. n_n

Ooooooooooooh. >.<

Next time nalan an nobela ng dalawang linggo na ako'y nawala. XP

I just want you to know who i am.

2006-11-12T15:11:21Z

I've dedicated a whole playlist in its honor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDNa4rxKXJs

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Iris, Goo Goo Dolls with Avril Lavigne = LOVE.

Hahah.

I love Avril Lavigne.
I love Johnny Rzeznik.
I love Evan Taubenfeld(guitarist).
I love Iris.

yes, i am very addicted.

Ahahah. Eto na an kanta ng buhay ku. Joke.

An ganda nung kanta no?

Walalan.
Nakakaiyak.

WARNING. Really long and wordy update. Be bored.

2006-11-08T15:58:24Z

I...

... miss my bestfriend. SO MUCH. Hahah.

Kahit we live three houses away from each other, di kami nagkikita. Di bale, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Hahah! Basta, magkikita tau before matapos an sembreak ha? n_n

My cake's blog : http://ilovethetalking.blogspot.com/

... have nothing to wear for my friend's debut on the 25th.

Hahah. Who cares? Joke. Eh kasi, semi-formal churva pa. With a baby pink and baby blue motif. Parang, WHOA. My wardrobe strives hard to avoid those colors sweetie, good luck sakin. Hahah. Peo di nga naman nasusunod yang mga motif na yan. Well. At least i have a valid reason to go shopping. Dress and shoes shopping! FUN! n_n

... just recently (and finally) got my grades. 0_o

Well, some of them anyway. Magaling kasi an sistema eh, SUPER organized.

PE1 - 1.25. Yan na pinakamataas ku this sem. Hrmf. Badtrip.
Phlo1 - 1.75. Not bad for a sem's worth of sleeping. XP
Spcm1 - 1.5. Kainis. speechcom na nga lan eh. Wala kasing basehan ng grade prof ku. peo at least my final speech was good. masaia na ku dun.
Nasc3 - 2.75(?) Di ku sure. peo malamang yan. or 3. hahah. Soreh naman. Physics eh. >.<
Hum1 - wala pa.
Posc1 - wala pa.
Fil20 - 1.5. Yay! Hahah. Yan lan ata yun grade na masaia aku. Sobra sobrang honor na sakin yan from Prof Dumlao. Tapos, i got a 1.25 on my final paper! Yay! Di kapanipaniwala, i was expecting an pinakamataas na makukuha na dun ay dos. Hahah. Shet. Talo tuloy aku sa bet. >.<

... have a grand total of five contracts with people for the next sem (and the sems after that) to study harder and better.

I made five contracts. Yes, i'm desperate.

Katulad ng nisabi ku sa taas, hindi aku gaanong masaia sa grades ku. Kasi naman, super walang ka-effort effort yun aral ku last sem. Ciempre, sa SIPAG kong to. Hahah. I've said it before, and i'm saying it again. I know i can do great, i just don't try. Kia, basically, the contracts say no slacking off, no procrastinating, no cramming, study harder, extra effort, magsipag.

Ahlee. Magmumurahan at magkakasakitan muna tayo bago tamadin ah.
Ica&Porky. Potek, kaya pala natin makapasok ng Honor roll eh. Sabit pa nga yun grade ku, eh di nga aku nag-aral. Demmit. Magsipag na tayo. Kaya natin to!! Maghohonor roll tau next sem!!! WHOOO!!!! XD
Ate Fjel. Upu. Gagalingan ku pu. I have extra responsibilities. Bawal tamarin. I have to work hard. I can excel. Upu. >.<
Emil. A pinky promise is a pinky promise. You're off to a good start! Sana aku din. n_n

Kayong lima. I beg of you. WAG NIYO AKU HAHAYAANG MAGPAKATAMAD. Pleeeeeeeease? >.<
And of course imma keep my end of the bargain as well. n_n

Anyone else who wants a study harder contract with me? I'm very willing to cooperate. XJ

... passed the UPLB Jocks auditions! YAY!! XD

Hahah. They finally reached a result. I woke up one morning to a text message that read:

"hi! CONGRATULATIONS!
you are one of the four passers of the UPLB jocks & LBFM 97.4 auditions held last Sept. 19-21, 2006.

We are pleased to welcome you as our first batch of trainees for SY 2006-2007.

Please reply to this msg. w/ your current email address asap. Thnx.

this is Wade btw."

Hahah. That woke me up. n_n

Grabe, out of 40something na nag-audition, i passed. Peo i sucked nung broadcast. Makes me think na meh hatak talaga pinsan ku. Hahah. Joke.

Buti nalan suot ku yun spongebob na tie ku nung auditions! Wahah. XP

The really really cool thing is, i get to have an AIRNAME!!! YEUH!!!

I'm still thinking of one though, an hirap mag-isip. Peo exciting diba? Hahah! >.<

... finished reading the Warrior of the Light. n_n

Now my next goal is to know it by heart. Seryoso, i'm memorizing lines and stuff. Kasi they come really handy when i need inspiration or if someone needs advice and stuff. Promise! At, tutulungan ku kuya ku sa thesis nia (sabi nia), which seeing Lao Zi's Way of the Dao sa Warrior of the Light. Sabi nia pag daw meh nisabi cia na phrase or something, aku daw yun hahanap nung pinakakatumbas nun sa Warrior of the Light. 0_o

Sige na nga, nitulungan naman nia aku sa Phlo paper ku eh. XJ

Ica. Gagawa talaga aku ng Warrior of the Light Fund ku. Pramis. Hahah. Ikaw din gawa ka. XP

Kasi naman. I don't think i will be getting my hands on a copy of Matilda by Roald Dahl anymore. Sayang. So this time, i'm not letting Warrior of the Light slip. n_n

... had a weird encounter with a vanishing ipis. 0_o

Hahah. Weird amp. Kasi nag-iinternet lan aku dito sa room ng kuya ku, then i see from my peripheral vision an isang ipis crawling on the wall. So, duh, BASIC INSTINCT, tumakbo aku downstairs at nitawag an kuya ku para patayin yun ipis. XP Tas pag akyat ulit namin, the ipis was GONE. Hahah. We searched for it, peo wala kaming nakitang ipis sa buong room. So we went on with our lives. Nag-pc ulit aku at kuya ku umupo sa bed nia at nagtext. Mga half hour later, my brother jumps out of the bed saying "ay shet, SHET!" ANDUN YUN IPIS SA BED NIA!! Eeeww! Hahah. So he got a slipper, tas niaalis nia yun ipis from the bed. Alanganamang i-squish nia yun sa bed nia, YUCK. Paghawi nia nung slipper dun sa ipis, tumama, tumalsik sa isang sulok ng room. Narinig namin na tumama dun sa slipper, at tumalsik nga yung ipis. Peo pagtingin nmin dun sa kung saan cia supposedly tumalsik, IT WASN'T THERE. Hahah! Weird talaga. Naghanap ulit kami peo wala talaga. Since then di na namin nakita ulit yun ipis. But it's out there. We can feel it. >.<

... found out that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are (finally) splitting up. XP

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061108/ap_on_en_mu/spears_divorce

Hahah. Isang malaking WHO CARES. Walalan. Britney finally filed for divorce. Kasi diba, she should have done that like years ago. Niantay pa nia magkaron sila ng dalawang anak. (who by the way, in my opinion, have really REALLY gay names. Sean Preston! and Jayden James! XD)

Ayun, walalan. Nasasayangan kasi talaga aku keh Britney eh. Tsk2. Went downhill after Justin Timberlake. Poor her. An galing pa man din nia sumayaw. 0_o

At least meh pre-nuptials sila. >.<

... have pichurs from the Kulasa Bonding Day(a.k.a Splurge Day)!! YAY!! XD

http://jeepnieeka.multiply.com/photos/album/23

Hahah. Walalan. Saia eh. XJ

An funny nung mg pichurs, lalo na yun sa star gazing. Kasi it was pitch black, ilaw ng phone at ng mga lamp posts far far away lan an bumubuhay samin. Eh anlakas ng flash nung camera. Bulagan to death. Hahah! XD

Salamat keh ica dahil love na love mu kami ni ahlee and kristel para gawing public yun pichoors. n_n

... lastly, am getting FAT. O_O

SERIOUSLY. I am. Lahat na ng tao yun an nisasabi. LALO NA PAMILYA KU AMP. My mom was like, "Sige ka, lahi nila daddy tabain. Tignan mu si tita ano at si tita ganyan at si..." 0_o
THANKS MOM. That was what i needed. I'm going through a psychological crisis and you feed me with images of everything that i don't want to end up like. THANKS. dehm. >.<

Sabi ni kuya maayos na daw to, wag na daw aku papayat pa sa ganto.

PEO DEHM. I'm getting fat. Hahah. Di aku sanay sa phrase na yun. 0_o

Peo payat padin aku. Relative lan to how i was before, tumaba nga aku. Wah. >.<

It's not like i'm anorexic or anything. Ayoko lan talaga tumaba.
According sa theory ni ahlee, an nagpataba sakin ay yun last days ng first sem, wherein we redefined the phrase "buhay baboy." Tama kasing bumili ng Sansrival at Cathedral Window at kun anu-anu pang desserts para lan masunod ang craving. Tsk.

Peo okie lan din. Pagdating ng next sem i'm going to burn it all off anyway. And masarap kumain. Hahah. n_n

So ayan. Rundown ng recent events. Hahah.

I was depressed sa last post ku.

And now that i think of it, i have so much to be happy for. n_n

Yun lan.

I miss everybody!! Mwaaaah! XD

Midnight Stories

nakedballad @ 2008-03-15T16:40:00

Something's missing.

More to Life. Or i go suicide.

Dare no tame ni ikite iru no?

Chopsuey!

Five sentences. I'm actually feeling a bit literary. :)

hmm. :)

Had to update some time:)

Of Rain and Tradition.

Cake burdei. Burdei Cake! Hahah!

Cranium tayo!

It Ends Tonight. - The All American Rejects

Pichurs!

Notes on Psychology, Coffee and Fear.

Girlfriend. *updated 02/25/07, 8:32pm*

Akalain mu yun.

i LOVED this week.

Maghohost na ku mamaya. SHET.

I love Thursday nights. XD **VERSION TWO**

Kunyare kaka-New Year lan.

Just because it's Christmas.

I can listen to Iris again.

Blank.

I just want you to know who i am.

WARNING. Really long and wordy update. Be bored.

Girlfriend. updated 02/25/07, 8:32pm

I love Thursday nights. XD VERSION TWO